Everyone's been asking me what goes on in the Orisue office. By everyone I mean noone, so today is your lucky day, and by you, I mean the internets. Actually, I'm never even in the office, so noone could be less qualified to answer these questions that you didn't ask. But I will tell you this...

Upon my last visit, Allen's little gay dog took a big gay piss on old man Alain's floor. Old Man Alain was upset and confronted Wally Hawk, Bill Black and Vince Hernandez about the incident, as he was irate that someone had opened his door and allowed this to take place. An explosion erupted amongst Bill Black and Old Man Alain, then I went and purchased a wheat bagel with tomato and lemon pepper, as I hadn't eaten much the night before.

Just moments ago, a mass email amongst the company was sent out by Vince Hernandez requesting that the splash page of the Orisue site be changed. I couldn't agree more. Not to hate on the incredibly handsome model, but who yanked Tom Hanks off the set of Castaway and threw him on the set of Back To The Future in a teal hoodie and slicked back hair? Any more questions? Email them to ask_lunch@orisue.com (<--- that shit doesn't work).